gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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