i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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