best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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