so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize