yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize