I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
