Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
