Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize