I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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