plz talk dirty to me
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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