You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
