Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
