Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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