If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize