So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
