Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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