they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
