Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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