I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize