Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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