Tell her she can't have a vagina
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
