Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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