I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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