Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
