I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize