I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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