My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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