At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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