Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
