This girl is more easily done than said...
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He kissed a someone with a penis
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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