READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
