i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
