Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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