the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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