Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
