my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
