I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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