Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
