PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
