I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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