Where did you get a picture of my penis
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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