omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
