and next time when you feel me up, do it right
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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