why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
