Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
