; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize