And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
