So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
