drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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