My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
