I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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