I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
