yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
They took my balls.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
