Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
