so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
