you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
