I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
