god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
