I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
