just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I have post one night stand depression
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