I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There's always time for handjobs
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
