Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
