It's Friday. Sex?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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