Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
