And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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