Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize