Even water is tasting like jack daniels
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We are two peas in an std pod
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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