that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
