ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
