omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
