So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
