Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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