so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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