I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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