john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
