He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
