You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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